Break
by Ko-chan to Ya-chan
Summary: What are Sora's thoughts as he fights his way through Castle Oblivion? He follows a road fraught with hardships, discovering those who he can no longer remember. Will he make it through, or will despondency send him spiraling into madness?


K: Hey people. I figure this won't contain any spoilers for anyone anymore, so I figured I'd go ahead and post it without putting "ZOMG SPOILERS!" in the summary. This is basically what I pictured going on inside Sora's head during the first half of Sora's Story in Chain of Memories. Lovely angst, my dears, so I hope you all enjoy it.

**Disclaimer:** I dun own Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. Well, I do, but not in the way that would exempt me from writing this thing. Goddamn it. Don't own "I am…" either. That's Ayumi-sama's.

**Dedications:** Ruaki, Sakyu, Onihime. Love you all lots! Keep up the mad writing skillz!

**Directions:** Read the story. Then look up the lyrics to "I Am…" by Ayumi Hamasaki and read the story AGAIN with the stanzas placed accordingly.

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**Break**

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(insert 1st stanza)_**

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Sora reclined against the white marble, bringing his arms around himself and setting his chin on his knees. Castle Oblivion was such a strange place. Descending floor by floor into its dark depths, he'd visited world after world; all wondrous and new, yet hauntingly familiar.

The mysterious cloaked men had warned him about this. 'To seek is to forget, and to forget is to seek.' or something like that. With each step he took forward, he found himself forgetting more and more of his past. He tried to hold on to his memories as tightly as he could, but they slipped through his fingers like the sands of time.

Aeris had warned him, too. 'Beware your memories. Don't let illusions distract you.' She'd said. It was somehow fitting that those words would fall from the lips of a dream—a fading memory.

/How many others have I forgotten? Had I met Alice before? Had I known Cloud, Hercules, Aladdin/ He sighed, fingering the cards Axel had given him; the keys to the worlds within his mind. /If these are my memories, than I must have, right? How else could they be here? How else could the castle create entire planets? Their planets/

/Who else will I meet? What other memories have escaped me/

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(Insert 2nd stanza)

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"At least I haven't forgotten Riku and Kairi…" He murmured, curling into himself so that his chestnut locks spilled over his face, hiding his eyes. Knuckles turned white, the paper crowns crinkling under the pressure of his balled fists. "Well, I haven't forgotten them yet, anyway."

'You'll find someone special to you.' The men had said. Could Riku really be somewhere in this gloomy castle? He couldn't have meant Kairi—she was back home, on… on… Where was she? Why couldn't he remember?

Panic rose within him, leaving the bitter taste of bile at the back of his throat and turning his blood to liquid ice. How could he have forgotten his own home? His…island…? It was an island, right? Closing his eyes, he sifted through what fragments of his past still lay in his mind.

A gentle breeze blowing over their tanned bodies… The tinkling bells of Kairi's laughter... The arrogant yet caring tone of Riku's voice… A yellow fruit that was rumored to entwine people's destinies… Destiny…

"…Island. Destiny Island. That's where she is. That's where we came from." His breath was ragged, and he huddled there, panting and shaking. "Where **_I_** came from. I have to at least remember that."

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(Insert 3rd stanza)

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/Why is this happening? What is this place/ He shivered. Although the halls were bright and free of enemies, it was as if a dark presence still loomed over them. The gilded sanctum was just a mask of deception; a lie to make them feel as if they were truly safe. Why were they brought here? Brought to this hellish, empty tomb of deceit?

"Why would you come here, Riku? Is it another test? If it is… I'm not so sure I'll make it this time…"

He gazed at the monstrous doors that loomed at the top of the stairs, filled with dread. Which part of his heart would be next? Which world lie forgotten, and when he went there, who would he meet for a second time and not remember?

/How can this all be an illusion? These people… These worlds are too real to be a figment of my imagination. To me, they're living, breathing things… I can touch them, hear them… I can smell the packed, damp earth of the coliseum floor. I can feel the desert winds whipping through my hair. I can feel the impact of a blow from a Heartless…/

/But if the Heartless aren't real, if they're just memories, like Axel said, then that wouldn't be possible, right/ Sora fingered a thin cut on his cheek. /They must be real. They have to be…/

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(insert 4th stanza)

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Thin fingers passed over his skin, trying to locate the wound. They found nothing, only smooth, creamy flesh. Sora's eyes widened. /It's gone./

"But…how…? How can it seem so real…when all they are…are lies…?"

/No, not lies… Illusions… ones trying to distract me from finding what's important… From finding Riku…/

He struggled hastily to his feet, creating a cacophony that reverberated throughout the great hall. Alarmed, Donald and Goofy turned their attention to a determined Sora, blinking in confusion at his actions.

"Sora…?"

The brunette balled his hand into a fist, clutching the fabric that hovered over his heart. A solemn expression passed over his young face, but as quickly as it had come, it vanished once more. Glancing up at his friends, he nodded.

"Let's go. I don't care if I forget it all- if it really counts…really matters… the memories will stay. Even if I can't remember with my mind, I'll remember with my heart… So long as it keeps beating, I'll keep going on…"

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(insert 5th stanza)

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"That's just like you, Sora. You're always trying to worm your way into people's hearts…"

/How could he? Do I really mean so little to him? After all we've been through… Is that what he really thinks? What they **_all_** think…/

"Go home, Sora. Go back to the island. I told you to take care of Kairi, so just leave this to me and get out of here."

/…Kairi…? Who's "Kairi"…? I… I can't remember…/

"D-datte…. Riku… I can't just leave you… I can't leave Naminé, either. I made a promise to her, and even if I might've forgotten about it, I remember it now."

Sora raised his keyblade in a salute, then swung out from his chest resolutely. "I swore to always protect her, and I intend to keep that promise."

"Protect her?" Riku scoffed, voice laden with cynicism, "You barely remember her."

Sora lowered his gaze, gritting his teeth. /Don't you think I know that…! I hate myself for forgetting… I won't forgive myself until I save her/

He closed his eyes, begging the tears to hold back. /Why can't you see that…/

The silver-haired boy snorted. "I don't have time for such a crybaby; such a nobody… You're not strong enough to help her- you'll only get in my way."

He turned to leave, his heavy footsteps amplified by utter silence. He made his way past the scowling magician and gob-smacked knight, an icy stare silencing any complaints before they were voiced.

The younger boy bit his lip, searching for the words within his troubled soul. Raising his head, he managed to choke out a single question, tears glistening in his azure eyes. "Riku… We… We're friends, right…?"

He paused, his gloved hand on the handle of the massive white door. The quiet seemed to last an eternity… but then he spoke.

"……never."

As Sora fell to his knees, his heart crushed, Riku left without ever looking back.

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(insert 6th stanza)

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-OWARI-


End file.
